Wednesday 15 May 2013


I have a little secret
that only you will know.
It isn't about alcohol
the horses or skid row.
It has to do with binders,
not some old skanky moll.
You want to know my secret? 
I've bought a Metropol!

I saw it there on eBay.
T'was true love at first sight!
I only had 2 minutes
to forge an eBay fight.
The going price was £40.
The other bidders keen.
And against my better judgement
Bet a thousand and fifteen!

When everything was over 
I glanced at who had won.
My username was flashing.
My God, what have I done?
Although I was victorious,
I felt that I would die
So much for just one Filofax
in some hasty impulse buy!

So onwards then to PayPal
to transfer all my dough.
The gas money and school fees
disappeared in one great show.
To pay for my black binder,
it was all that I could see.
I guess we're eating mince again.
Who needs a new kidney?

One push of the return key
and ownership was mine.
But now I had to wait two weeks
for the package to arrive.
With baited breath I waited
what seemed like twenty years.
Then hearing the postie's whistle
was like music to my ears!

I ran up to my postbox
and grabbed the box real vicious
and walked away, me muttering
like Gollum  ' Oh My Precious'!
I seemed like I had rabies as
I ripped it with my teeth
and fumbled with the bubble-wrap
to see what lay beneath.

And there it fell before me
upon the table there.
I couldn't quite believe it
and fell back on the chair.
For in this long sought package
that nearly sent me broke,
was not a pocket Metropol
but a mini pink Baroque!!!


  1. My worst filofax nightmare...

  2. I love this little poem Kent :) A really nightmare for some hehehe

    I have nominated you for the Liebster Blog Award!

    My blog it's

  3. Love it....absolutely love it!!!!!!!

  4. I loved the part about rabies. For some reason I imagine I am like a rabid animal waiting to viciously attack the postie while he rides past my house without my parcel. - The last bit almost killed me O_O I would probably end up rage fitting. Great writing Kent.

  5. Rhyming metropol and skanky moll? Brilliant!!