RINGS RINGS or The Ring Removal Song

sung to Ring Ring by the amazing Swedish pop group ABBA

I was sitting all alone
With my Malden and my phone
And then some evil thoughts started crowding in about me.

It's a dark and dreary night
Seems the rings just don't seem right
So I wonder if I am brave enough to cut you?

Do I really have the thi-ings?

To extract those rotten rings 

oh-oh

Rings, rings, why do you get in the way?l?
Rings, rings, catching my fingers all day
Rings, rings, if only you'd just go away
And I sit all alone impatiently
With an inn-o-cent Malden in front of me
So, rings, rings, it looks like your taking a fall!
So, rings, rings, its ringectomy time after all!

They were here and now they're gone
Hey did I do something wrong?
I just can't believe that I could be so badly mistaken
Was it really such a thrill?
To remove you with my drill?
Will you hear me cry or will I feel I'm mistaken

Please forgive this mortal sin
As I chuck you in the bin, oh-oh

Rings, rings, You came out without a fight!
Rings, rings, the buffalo leather feels right.
Rings, rings, you've now been replaced with a strap
And I gaze at the Malden without it's rings
And I smile to myself and start to sing
Ho ho rings, rings, I didn't need you like I thought!
So-o, rings, rings, my Moleskines sit perfectly taught.
Oh-oh, rings, rings, some folks think I acted too rash.
So, rings, rings, enjoy your new life in the trash!

[fade]